Whenever I get nervous in an awkward situation, my first instinct is to laugh uncontrollably. No matter what the situation. Nine times out of ten, it doesn’t help me out anymore than I thought it would but I can’t help it. I try to suppress the laugh but it’ll work its way out of me and then it’s too late.
I’ve ruined plenty of serious conversations with boyfriends, family members, and close friends by doing so but that’s literally all I know to keep me from either breaking down or blankly staring them in the face without a word. So, at least there’s some sort of reaction, right?
Either way, at last there was a reaction. I’m not one that really knows how to properly process my feelings, especially when put under pressure. Don’t put me around a grieving family member or expect me to give a lending ear to someone going through a divorce. Find someone else for a shoulder to cry on rather than a fool that can’t control their laughter. It’s not a pretty picture and it ain’t gonna make you feel any better, that’s for damn sure.
These 21 people laughed at the most inappropriate times:
I had sexual relations with a female who must have thought a “kegel” was something that you eat with cream cheese, I digress…during intercourse her vaginal walls seemed nonexistent, nevertheless this did not interrupt her monologue about her “tight p*ssy.” I couldn’t take it anymore and fell into a fit of laughter, she removed my flaccid member from her insatiable juicebox and left. 2.
Mine was at my grand-aunts funeral…when my mother was speaking. I was only little and nobody noticed but my near family because I bit my hand. But those were the most wtf looks I’ve ever gotten. I was horrible. 3.
During the moment of silence at a Remembrance Day ceremony. I laughed so hard that I farted. 4.
My whole family was at the hospital with my grandma as she was lying there in her death bed. I was holding her hand as everyone sang to her as she was dying. In my other hand was a cup of tea (we had been there a long time) I look down and notice that I had unknowingly dunked my hair into the tea. I looked up to see if anyone else noticed, and I saw my cousin staring right at me. We both burst out laughing. Im sure the rest of my family thinks we are heartless bitches. 5.
Friends wedding, as she was walking down the aisle. Brother whispered to me that he was imagining leprechauns frolicking behind the altar (bride was full Irish) and I just lost it. I was crying from laughing so hard. I felt terrible, but all was good when I told her why at the reception. 6.
My friend and I were sitting in a full-school assembly in 11th Grade (the last grade here in Quebec). They were going through community service options for us to participate in that year. They’re going through the list of mundane, stereotypical options, when one catches our ear. It was f*cking Ice Hockey for the Blind. Who the fuck thinks of that!? Apparently my friend and I were the only ones to see the absurdity in it and burst out laughing together. Everyone was appalled. 7.
In highschool I had a friend who was obsessed with wheelchairs. He was always talking about “freestyle wheelchairing” and wheelchair bumper cars and other whacky shit. Well the first time I went to his house I noticed a picture of what looked like him chillin in a wheelchair and started to giggle. My other friends asked what was so funny so I pointed at the picture and said “(dude’s name) in a wheelchair!” They just looked at me, horrified and explained that the guy in the pic was actually his brother who had some physical handicap. At that point I was so embarrased and for some reason it just made me laugh harder. I couldn’t stop for like 5 minutes at least, tears streaming down my face and everything. To this day i’m so incredibly thankful my buddy or his parents weren’t around to witness that 8.
My sister was raging drunk one night. She called me in there and was babbling about needing a political person for a political question about political things. Halfway through, I couldn’t hold in the laughter and she flipped out. 9.
D.A.R.E. Graduation in 3rd grade. 10.
I was at a “meeting” and a woman was “sharing” about being grateful she no longer had to suck d*ck for pills. She then proceeded to go on and on about sucking this guys wrinkled up c*ck for years just to get her fix. Then she reveals the worst part…he’s her husband. That was it. I completely lost it. 11.
When my dad told me that his high school math teacher was murdered in the Caribbean. Apparently it was very difficult for him. 12.
Because of a head injury, my grandmother would hallucinate and have vivid dreams where she would talk (or yell). One night, she is having a dream that the family dog is attacking her. She is yelling at the dog to leaver her alone and get off of her. Being 2:00AM, my dad really isn’t thinking logically and he springs out of bed and runs out of the room to trip over the dog who is sleeping in his usual spot in the hallway just outside of my parents’ room. The dog yelps from being kicked by my dad, he screams as he flies through the air, and my grandmother is still yelling in her sleep. My mom and I couldn’t stop laughing for at least an hour. 13.
When I was little I’d have to hold back the laughter whenever somebody cried. I just found the sound of crying hilarious. 14.
When Mufasa died in the Lion King. I know, I’m a terrible person. 15.
When my mom told me that my 16 year-old cousin was pregnant. 16.
While watching the end of Million Dollar Baby in a packed theater. My friend and I, for some idiotic reason, thought it would be more funny if Clint Eastwood helped Hillary Swank kill herself by simply walking in and blowing her away Dirty Harry style. We pissed everyone in that theater off. 17.
I started laughing as soon as a friend of mine told me she and her husband are still trying to work things out by going to a third marriage counselor to work past a third instance of infidelity. 18.
On 9/11. I was sitting in english class, and the news broke that people were jumping out of windows and landing on the firefighters below. It was such a horrible, ironic thing to happen that the only way I could response was let out a single laugh. Someone in the class shouted “WHO JUST LAUGHED”, and I put on my best pokerface as everyone went silent, trying to find the perpetrator. 19.
My uncle’s funeral. The guy was talking about how religious he was. He so was not. 20.
A friend was telling me about a relative who was in a coma, and who if he woke up he would most likely be in a “vegatarian” state. I laughed so hard at the mental image of this guy waking up and suddnely not being able to eat meat. By the end of it she was laughing too. 21.